I Affirm My Presence Here

There’s a point, if you’ve worked hard enough, that you become what you’ve been imagining. 

It’s melancholy when the world you used to love hasn’t changed. The systems you used to be comfortable with haven’t changed. The industry you used to work in hasn’t changed. 

Don’t let that be a deterrent to walking in the shoes of the new you. You will create new systems. You will create new industries. Your gifts will make room for you. 

You look around your new garden and notice peace growing and positive thoughts growing and a sound mind growing and new businesses growing and the fruit of old seeds from the past don’t taste the same. 

It’s been nearly 2 years of planting before I’m finally beginning to see the newness of life. I don’t see myself going back. I don’t hear old music. I don’t see old songs in my future. I don’t mind if you sing them, but forgive me if I don’t. 

I won’t bring the mind of my past to the heart of my future. No need for judgement or comparison. I don’t have to call my old self out and scold her. That’s been done by way of much life experience. 

My heart says, “Embrace the new you. She’s emerging but she’ll find her way. Give her time. She’ll reorganize. She’ll take the trash out. She’ll spray down the cabinets. She’ll refill the pantry. She’ll hem garments and give away ones that no longer suit her. Let her be. 

She won’t revert to thinking like the old you. So don’t give her those thoughts. Repent from them. They aren’t yours anymore. 

And don’t be shy. It’s ok to like her. She won’t scowl at you. Play in her hair. Rub her skin with oil and rose. Smile in her mirror. That’s you. You’re beautiful. Accept it. Don’t run. You’re here. You’re present. Goodbye, Before. Hello, Now.

One step at a time got you here. One day at a time will anchor you here. I’m proud of you. I’m Thankful. I’m safe.”

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Affirmation:

“I recognize the safety that exists in the awareness of who I really am.”

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I look over my life and say, “Did I really just make it through that?”. And I thank God. I’m still young. I have so much strength in me and so much more love to give. 

So do you. You don’t have to be old to learn big lessons. You can have youthful joy and peace even if life has been difficult. Lift up your head and imagine the next version of you. She will appear. Keep God and his Grace in your heart and mind. You’ll need them. But you’re strong enough. You’ll get there. Not for show, but for you… and Gods glory.

xo - CM